The Lilo's Blog

So while I may be a sucky blogger these days, Joey isn't...

Vice Over Virtue

Quite proud at the moment.

His photos have the ability to do great things in this world.

Well, not so much the ones of his friends barfing.


Love,
Natalie

This one time...

So I have not posted to my blog in approximately one million years. The reasons are endless and completely irrelevant. The past few months have been nothing short of insanity. One thing that has remained constant, Coral and her amazing face.



Photo stolen from Lilo's blog, Vice Over Virtue

I think my life may be to the point where it somewhat resembles that of a normal, functioning human being. Lets see if this lasts and I can find some inspiration again.

Wish me luck,
Nat

Where did my baby go?!

Coral is officially too big for her toddler bed.
The thought of her growing up practically crushes my soul.
Soon she will be in kindergarten, then dating…
Getting married… AAHHH!
Anyhow, I have been searching high and low for the perfect big girl bed for my perfect little lady.
She has a pretty small room and an obscene amount of toys.
I think I want a loft bed so that she can still have space below to play. Here is some of my favorites so far:

The mattress for this one is in the top cottage part. Fun!



from here

This manufacture lets you build the bed with all the components that you want. It starts with just a twin frame and you choose the legs, shelves, fabric and all accessories. I totally ordered the catalogue.



from here

This one has all sorts of fun stuff. I can’t have it though because it is from Europe. Boo.



from here

My search continues. Wish me luck.

Love,
Nat

Recluse

So I may have disappeared for a few days…weeks. My sweet little 95-year-old grandma died and it made me really question a lot of things.
And therefore, hide.

I will start off saying that she died peacefully
Just how she wanted it, in her sleep.
No suffering or sadness leading up to it.
My great grandpa dies when I was about 8 and I don’t know that I really understood what was going on. This grandma is my first relative to die in my adult life.
I thought I would be devastated, cry myself to sleep every night.
Instead, I feel confused and unsettled.
Not about where she went, but by what I am doing.



First area of confusion…religion.
I was raised Mormon until I was about 12.
Then nothing.
I have a sense of spirituality and when I am really scared or confused, I pray.
I feel comfortable with the idea that there is a God that protects me.
For a while, I was doubtful, but not now.
I want to believe that this is not it.
That this world is not my last chance.



Since my grandma passed, I have been looking very closely to how I spend my time.
I have been thinking a lot about what I will leave behind.
What will people remember, what will I remember?
What moments in my life will I be proud of?
I want to be sure that everything that I do is because it will make me or someone that I love happy.

I don’t want to waste a minute of my life being idle.
I don’t want to function out of habit or just being comfortable.
I wonder if I live up to my full potential or if I am wasting myself.
All of this spinning around in my head all the time is making me slightly crazy.
Just slightly.

What do you think heaven is?
What makes you feel alive?


Love,
Nat

P.S. I know I have lots of letters to write back. I will do it soon, pinky swear.

Home Sweet Home

I am back home now from a week and a half vacation on the beach. We normally go to San Diego this time every year but this year we went to Long Beach instead. San Diego is awesome but it gets so crowded and kind of rowdy for a family vacation with the little one. We had such a blast playing on the beach and walking around the town. I am pretty exhausted because the drive home took much longer than anticipated. It took so long to get out of town because we lagged leaving the beach and ended up getting stuck in rush hour traffic trying to leave California. By rush "hour" I mean rush 3 hours.

Here is a few pictures from the trip:













I also came home to quite a few birthday cards from my new pen pals, which was quite adorable. I went and got some stationary and fun stuff so I am going to get writing.







Love,
Nat

So Much to do, So Little Time

I started day 1 of my own “pursuit of happiness” project. I decided to spend some time getting crafty. It is going to be a headband/belt. Since I have my upcoming beach vacation on my mind I wanted to make a starfish. Since I should be doing homework I did not get too far, it sure takes forever to sew one bead at a time. Sometimes I forget that I work full time, go to school, and have a hubby and three year old to love. Nevertheless, I will do something each day that makes me happy.



I got a list of all the people for a pen pal group that I just signed up for and spent way too much time reading everyone’s blogs. So many fun girls, I can’t wait!



I saved the best for last. My very first niece was born on Saturday.

Meet Chloe







She is to die for. Seriously, what newborn has a face like that? She is so alert and curious for a newborn. I love her so dear.

Love,
Nat

The Pursuit of Happiness

I have been listening to the song “Pursuit of Happiness” by Kid Cudi practically on repeat. It makes my heart flutter. I would put all the words on here but there is some slight cursing and I’m not trying to offend.

“Imma do just what I want
lookin’ ahead no turnin’ back
if I fall, if I die, know I lived it to the fullest
if I fall, if I die, know I lived and missed some bullets
I'm on the pursuit of happiness
and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good”

Maybe it is my 28th birthday looming over my head in a couple short weeks but I am feeling quite restless. I have been thinking about my life, my legacy, and if I really am living to my fullest potential. In my heart, I know that the answer is “no”. When I die, will I be satisfied looking back on my choices? I feel like I tend to play it safe; take the responsible route, the one that pleases everyone. Once upon a time I was exploding with creativity. I lived in Los Angeles, went to design school, and had dreams of moving to Paris for an internship. There was a point in my life when I made the decision to play it safe. I made a conscious choice to abandon my dreams. I though that I would end up lonely. I thought that following my dreams was selfish for some reason. Today, I don’t understand my own logic.
So here comes my own personal challenge. I am going to do something for myself

EVERY DAY

The thought sounds absurd, I know.

Instead of coming home from work, doing homework for a million hours, and going to bed, I am going to create something. Even if it is small or just a piece of something bigger, I am going to do it. And after I do it, I am going to document it. I will start out with 30 days.

It is my own pursuit of happiness, my mission for fulfillment and inspiration.
It sounds romantic but I have a feeling I am going to be sleeping less.
Probably cranky.



“It’ll be fun, it’ll be a thrill. Something stupid, something bad for you, just something different. Isn’t this the point of being young? It’s your choice. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me; it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.”
-Gilmore Girls

Some pictures that make me feel “alive”:







All photos via weheartit.com

P.S. day one starts tomorrow








Love,
Nat